Tuesday 28 August 2012

'Sluts' at Uni -.-

HOWDY Y'ALL!!!!

Ahhh what an exciting day it was today! So I was wearing my new pair of shoes, they're so hot, they're like these navy blue sailor shoes, and the bitches full rubbed against the back of my feet so they're like ultra sore now :( The things I do for fashion... Oh and today I lost my radio virginity! I full co-hosted a university radio show! The awkwardness of it all was hilarious, I don't think I have ever embarrassed myself as much as I did today on air! But pffft, YOLO!

Oh, and also, I would like to share a bit of feedback I got on my blogpost from a friend of mine I bumped into on the train the other day (its a small world on the bankstown line!) Her name's Lisa, and she said "As I was reading your post, I was thinking to myself "What the fuck are you reading right now?!" Thank you so very much for that Lees, I'm absolutely flattered!

Now, I am aware that the title of this blog may have offended y'all: "Omg what a rude disrespectful little brat Joshua is! Disgusting males and their patriarchal agendas! Women are allowed to express themselves however they want! bla bla bla!" And I completely agree with you! I use the term 'slut' very loosely, and I don't mind promiscuous girls one single bit! Go for gold (and I mean that in the dirtiest way possible). I even defended you sluts a few months back when I was in the car with mother. We were driving home at like 12 in the morning, and my mum saw these two chicks wearing close to nothing walking down the road. As she began to rant about them in arabic, I'm there sitting in the poor little passenger seat defending you guys and talking about womens rights and all of that jazz! The result was my mum call me a pansy. See the extents I go to for you guys?? However, what really really pisses me off is when chicks rock up to uni wearing tight little skirts, heels, a shit load of jewellery, and their bra is doing close to nothing in terms of keeping the two puppies under control.

WHY DUDE?! Just why? You're going to uni, who are you looking to impress?? I go to uni looking like a bag of smashed assholes (or some people argue that I look like that all the time, but that's just their opinion). Now, people can choose to express themselves in any way they want, but there is a fine line between an outfit that depicts individuality and one that screams "Get into my pants now cause I'm desperate as fuck!"

Is there a tutor you are looking to impress? Or even worse, a lecturer? In which case, I would like to know what faculty at which university you are enrolled in, cause I hear a lot about these steamy teacher-student relationships (ignore the extreme political incorrectness displayed here) but can I just say, there is no possibility of that shit ever happening in the classes I'm enrolled in *shudders at the thought of old ugly lecturers*  Are university toilet cubicles your calling? And I mean, I get the whole risqué excitement of it all, but I bet you payed top dollar for that tight leather skirt, you don't want to get restroom grime smeared all over it! (That's right, picture that mental image!!) Maybe there's a guy/s you want to get with, but I mean, can't that shit wait for parties or the weekends?

Isn't it uncomfortable, oh darling asian-fan girl, to be wearing those 8-inch leopard-print heels, with that neon pink scarf wrapped tightly around your neck falling over your see-through zebra-print chiffon singlet? (I wish I was joking). Don't even get me started on those Hello Kitty denim short-shorts. Wowwee....

The concept of heels at uni really gives me shivers. You're walking from class to class all day on this massive campus, and you're belting out those shoes! Bitch, I know you're in pain, bite your pride and buy a pair of flats!!

And girls aren't the only perpetrators here, men are just as bad! Okay gym boy, I know you've been working out, but what have you done with your shirt sleeves?? Did they magically disappear off the face of this earth? It's like 12 degrees bitch, I don't think its appropriate to wear a singlet today! Will it kill you to buy a t-shirt that is at least one size larger then the one you are currently wearing?? Ok cool, you've been working out on your pecs, I don't need to see your nipples tearing against the very fibres of that poor XXXXXS sized tshirt.

Oh oh, and the blonde surfer boys! It's lovely that you have invested in Calvin Klein or Bonds underwear, it really is, but is it necessary for your jeans to droop so low that anytime that you even slightly bend over, your undies seem to find themselves right up in my face!

Don't get me started on tshirts with pictures of bloody half naked chicks on them. Ok cool dude, you're a stud, but there is no need to wear that public declaration to a 9am history class!

I think what fascinates me the most is how do these people find the time in the morning to do all of this shit?!?! I literally wake up, change my pjs (this is an optional step) and run to the train station before I'm late for a tutorial for the third week in a row!

And it is here that I leave you with this lovely song from Marina and the Diamonds! (Oh so very fitting for you bunch of sleazy whore bags!)


Au Revoir my chickadees!!

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