My top ten models! (Myself not included obviously, because I'm modest)

Chickadees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I hope you are all doing well. I've really wanted to post a blog the last few days, but in all honesty, my brain has turned to mush, and university is to blame. No sooner do I finish writing an essay do I realise I have another one due in a few days. If I'm not going through that vicious cycle, I have some in-class test I need to study for or I realise I need to complete a tutorial paper my inconsiderate, unreliable and completely scatter-brained teacher decided to create two days ago and made due in three days time for no apparent reason. RANT OVER. 

So, seeing that I currently have the mental capacity of a turnip and the attention span of a rock, and I am in dire need of some form of constructive activity, I thought I would make a nice, fun and completely superficial blog about MODELS!!!

I am a procrastinator, as I am sure you all know by now, and one of my favourite activities to engage in whilst wasting my precious time is watching fashion shows! All sorts of fashion shows, may I add: Elie Saab, New York Fashion Week, Michael Kors, the VMAs (don't argue with me, that excuse for an awards ceremony, in its own retarded way, is a runway!) and my personal favourite, Victoria's Secret!!! I have grown fond of a few models over the past few months (by fond I mean jealous) and here they are, in all of their glory!!! Here, ladies and gentlemen (and everything in-between) are my top ten favourites:

10. Lily Aldridge

I love this chicka, she is such a babe. My first impression of this girl was really quite hilarious though. I watched her on the Angels in Bloom section of VS 2012 and I was thinking to myself "What the hell is up her ass?!" because, literally, she has the most retarded catwalk I have ever seen! It's like some kind of awkward limp, but I found it so funny. But I mean, to her defence, she did have a baby, like, a few months before that particular show, however, to my defence, she had the exact same walk on the runway in the previous three years before she popped the kid out so, meh. But, whatever, that walk kinda makes her unique, I guess :/. And her teeth are super-retarded, I love it! Overall, she's super sexy, you go girlfriend! 

9. Cara Delevingne

Shu those eyebrows!!!! This chick has the best facial hair, hands down! To be completely honest, the first time I came across a picture of Cara's face, I was quite scared and intimidated. I was not completely sure if it was a boy or a girl. She actually has the body of a 12 year old asian kid, no joke, but I love it. I don't see it too much as her being anorexic as opposed to her being herself. It's just her body type, and props to her for rocking what she has! I honestly never thought I would warm up to the idea of liking Miss Delevingne, but she really has grown on me. Not to mention she has an awesome personality! And omg at all the reports of her selling and taking drugs, oh god Cara!  

8. Barbara Fialho

Fialho is an exotic Goddess, I'll tell you that much. Every time I see her in a magazine or watch her strut her stuff on the runway I feel like shaking a maraca with one hand and eating a taco with the other (yes, this is my definition of exotic.) And my god she's tall. Google her, she makes every man she stands next to look like an absolute midget, my god, I would not want to be caught taking a picture with her! Let's be honest, her genetics deserve two pics on this blog. BOOM! 

7. Constance Jablonski

Constance!!!!!! Ahh, she's so beautiful, although whoever did her makeup for VS 2012 has to get their ass fired because she looked like a witch with those tar-drowned eyes and heavily-contoured cheekbones. But racoon makeup aside, Constance is a true beauty! Her French accent gets me every time, and for someone who looks really rich and stuck up, she comes across as very shy and down to earth. She is the face of Estee Lauder, and has done campaigns for the likes of D&G and Calvin Klein, so yea, she's done alright (not as good as me though, let's be honest) ;) Funniest thing about this chicka though is she actually wanted to become a professional tennis player before getting into modelling. Can you imagine her on the tennis field, defeating her opponents with her ravishingly good looks?! All she would need to do is wink at the referee and she would have the game in the bag! 

6. Maud Welzen

OMG MAUD!!! Like Maud from The Simpson's Maud! But come on, isn't she exactly how you envision Gretel from the fairytale to look like?!?! She is the epitome of cuteness. I love the fact that when I google her, I am met with more than an onslaught of bikini and lingerie photos. She has shot a number of sophisticated and classy fragrance campaigns, and her style lends itself very well to it! Go and watch the pink section of VS 2012, you're in for a pleasant surprise when she turns around whilst wearing the particular ensemble to the right ;) And she's Dutch. I mean, I am done. I am done. 

5. Isabeli Fontana

I have never actually heard Fontana's voice. I think that is a good place to start with this girl because she's the type that really doesn't need to say anything to get you interested. She is so mesmerising that she simply demands attention! She's been working as a model for ages and her work and experience speak volumes. And she's one of those no-shit-get-the-job-done kinda girls, without all the drama and chaos that seems to surround the other VS girls. She's a staple model, always present for every VS runway show since she started. She rocks two to three stunning looks a year and steals the spotlight without being as attention-seeking as Lima or as overly stuck-up as Swanepoel. Definitely one of my top picks! 

4. Erin Heatherton

OMG I love to hate this girl! She is so unbelievably sexy and so unbelievably posh, it's hilarious. You know how some people have like naturally unimpressed facial expressions? That's the story of Erin's life. I love how she is constantly giving interviewers the bitchiest looks and looks at fans at Victoria's Secret store openings as if they were mere peasants (which they actually are compared to her). I actually don't know who else this chicka models for. Although she obviously does model for other brands, I think she's mostly a Victoria's girl, I mean, she doesn't really have a high-fashion kind of look about her, she's really 'the-girl-next-door' kinda type. Stay bitchy Erin dear! ;)

3. Barbara Palvin

I feel like everyone loves this girl, she has such a universal appeal. She's so real and so gorgeous, and she gives AMAZING face! Her story outlining how she became a model is hilarious: "I was, uhhh, just, uhhhh, walking down the uhhh street and this man told me uhhhh 'do you want-ah to become-ah a model-ah' and I said YES! Of course!" Cause that's not creepy or anything, is it Barbara? :/ I guess the moral of the story is: if an old man on the street asks you to be his model, say YES! Too easy :)
DISCLAIMER: don't do it. Please, just don't.

2. Cameron Russell

Ever since my obsession with Lana Del Rey began, I have fallen in love with all things American vintage and from the 1950s. I feel like Cameron has literally been snatched out of this era! And I only very recently figured out why: she looks like a cross between Rita Hayworth and Judy Garland! She really has that old hollywood glamour look to her. Also, she actually stirred up a bit of a controversy at the beginning of the year. She appeared on TedX and basically gave a speech about how modelling is not a career and is not a job to be proud of. As much as I admired her saying this (because I totally agree, being a model simply means you've won the genetic lottery, there's really nothing else to it) she's kinda shooting herself in the foot a bit. I believe she's just doing it for the publicity, but the entire way through her speech the words of my senior English teacher back in high school (when she was warning my class not to get too crazy with pranks we were planning to pull on our teachers on our last day of school) continuously echoed in my head "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." I'm interested to see the implications this little speech Cameron made is going to have on her career (by this I mean I'm waiting to see if she's still going to appear on VS this year, LOL) but I mean I admire her courage and her honesty, and she's a sexy biatch, so, whatevvvvvvvs.

1. Doutzen Kroes

AND I MEAN OF COURSE DOUTZEN IS NUMERAL UNO!!!!

NUF SAID.

Alrighty chickadees, I think that's enough for one day. I don't know about you guys, but I feel like a fat potato... with sour cream on top.

Take care of yourselves, stop procrastinating and do whatever it is you need to be doing, don't take candy from strangers (unless it's a sexy stranger... LOL JKS please don't. You will die) and enjoy the rest of your week!

Au revoir! 

Dry Conversations: A Survival Guide

CHICKADEES!!!!! How are we all?! Good? Good! Cause I don't care! 

Ok, so, I haven't posted any useful advice-giving sorta blogs as of recent, so I thought I would share some of my wisdom with the lot of you this week, because I am absolutely bursting with intelligence and knowledge! I just have to share it with the world! Hold your applause, please. 

Don't you just hate it when you bump into: some random you use to know from school OR a relative you haven't spoken to in/ avoided for years (partly because you think they're fat ugly Jews) OR an old boss that didn't like you very much cause you kept telling customers in their store that their screaming children were feral little rats (I might/ might not be speaking from experience) - and you are forced to make conversation with this particular human being? 

I HATE IT. It scares the living daylights out of me. Not because I have to talk, but because I'm scared my 'fakeness' is too obvious. It's like when I'm trying to sell a pair of jeans to a customer and they ask me "Does this make me look fat?" to which I respond "Are you kidding me?! Your curves look amazing!" whilst thinking to myself 'Oh god, did she see me smile in the mirror reflection? Crap, she knows I think she looks like a whale! I lost the sale! Abort! Abort!'  

So this is a general outline of how I deal with these kind of conversations. Learn from my mistakes people! 

1. AVOID CONTACT AT ALL COSTS! 

If you see this person approaching from a distance, try and get your sorry ass out of sight as quickly as possible! If that means you have to turn around in mid stride and go back the way you came whilst copping a whole lot of awkward looks from the people walking alongside you on the footpath, so be it! If that means pulling down your sunglasses, turning your scarf into a hijab and talking on your dead phone like you're the owner of some multi-billion dollar company, so be it! If that means jumping into a nearby bush (always a classy move), so be it! 

This will make life much easier for you. But if you fools don't react quick enough and find yourself greeted with a "Oh my god, is that you babe/bro/whatever?!" there is still hope that you can survive this life threatning ordeal. 

2. ACT FU*KING EXCITED! 

Okay, you're pretty much screwed at this point, so its time to put on that fake smile. 

If it's a girl: "HEY BABES! OMG I MISS YOU! HOW YOU BEEN?! ALL GOOD?! OMG I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN AGES!! WHAT, I HAVEN'T BEEN CALLING YOU?! BABE I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE FALLEN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!!" and all of that nonsense. 

If it's a guy: "Hey brah, how's it going?" 

DO NOT:

* point out any weird haircuts

* tell them to remind you of their name. Keep using the phrases "babe" or "brah" 

* indicate that you've noticed the missing wedding ring

3. COMPLIMENT

You wanna make them feel happy and comfortable, cause that means the conversation flows painlessly and ends quicker. 

If it's a girl: "HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT HUN? OMG YOU HAVE HAVEN'T YOU?! YOU LOOK AMAZING! AND YOUR DRESS! OMG BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS DRESSED NICE, I MISS YOUR FASHION! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO HAVE LOST ALL THIS WEIGHT, I MEAN, OMG. AND I'VE HEARD THAT YOU GOT THAT JOB AT FREEHILLS!!! YOU SMART BEATCH, I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU!" 

If it's a guy: "Bro, have you been working out? Those guns are huge!" 

Remember, act completely surprised by any positive changes in their appearance. If you don't, they will know that you've been stalking their facebook photos. 

DO NOT: 

* Compliment their nose ring

* Compliment their fake tan

* Compliment them on breaking up with their gronk boyfriend (again, they will know you've been stalking them on facebook)

4. TALK ABOUT LIFE

Remember, you're very interested in their life, because that's the kind of person you are. Saint Therese ain't got shit on you! 

If it's a girl: "SO HOW'S UNI/WORK/ THE CENTRELINK PAYMENTS?!?! YEA, DON'T WORRY, MY BOSS IS A SKANK TOO! AND HOW ABOUT THE LOVE LIFE? ANY TRIPS PLANNED FOR THIS SUMMER? HOW'S THE FAMILY?! I MISS YOUR MUM MAN, I MISS OUR CONVERSATIONS WITH HER!" 

If it's a boy: "How's engineering going brah? You should've come to UTS brah, fuck UNSW!" 

DO NOT: 

* talk about how you're currently dating their ex. 

* go into detail about university and study. That just makes you look like a prick. A smart prick, but a prick nevertheless.

* ask if she is pregnant. Ha, good luck getting yourself out of that one. "Ha, well, must just be the cupcakes then!" ... 

5. MAKE FAKE PROMISES AS YOU BID FAREWELL

This part is mandatory. Jesus will forgive you eventually. 

If it's a girl: "WE MUST CATCH UP FOR COFFEE SOON BABES, I REALLY DO MISS YOU! I'LL COME BY YOUR WORK NEXT WEEK AND WE'LL GRAB A BITE TO EAT DURING YOUR BREAK. NO NO I STILL HAVE YOUR NUMBER SAVED ON MY PHONE, I'LL TEXT YA AND WE'LL ORGANISE A DAY, HOW DOES THAT SOUND? AND YOU HAVE ME ON FACEBOOK, RIGHT?! YEA, I'LL ORGANISE A GROUP EVENT AND INVITE ALL THE OTHER GIRLS AND WE'LL ORGANISE A DINNER NIGHT, MAYBE BONDI PIZZA OR SOMETHING!" 

If it's a guy: "Good seeing ya bro, we'll def grab a drink sometime." 

DO NOT: 

* use the word 'maybe' in any of your fake promises. They must all sound legit. 

* set a date to catchup on the spot. Say you'll organise it later. 

* attempt to make contact again. 

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS!!!! 

That's how to be a good friend ;) Now you can walk the streets with confidence, feeling ready and equipped to deal with any unwanted 'blasts from the past.' Now just you wait, I'm most probably gonna bump into an old school friend tomorrow and they'll start the conversation off with "I liked the blog you posted last night." ... to which I will respond "THANKS BABES, OMG I MISS YOUR POSITIVE ATTITUDE TO LIFE!!!!" ;) 

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! 

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES Season 4 Episode 15

... Ooops I haven't blogged in a month... 

Whatever, you're excited I'm posting, SO today is all about the VAMPIRE DIARIES! 

Obviously if you haven't watched episode 15 yet (you're an idiot) but also don't read any further because obviously I will spoil a few things for ya. 

Now I have quite a few mixed emotions about this episode. I dunno, I mean, I liked it, it was exciting and fast-paced, which is saying something in light of the fact that Season 4 episodes 1 through to 14 have been SOO PAINSTAKINGLY BORING (okay, Elena is a vampire and she wants to be a human because she wants to grow old and... I dunno what else, but WHO CARES!) but on the same token, the show implemented and destroyed some extremely sensitive and edgy plot lines that don't seem to mean good news for the show in the long run. 

As a Vampire Diaries FIEND, I would like to enlighten y'all with my thoughts on this latest instalment of fang porn, but also explain why I thought this season has sucked thus far, what could have been done better AND what direction I, as a loyal fan, believe the show MUST take in order to make a speedy recovery from the rut it has landed itself in. 

Now, let's get cracking! 

KATHERINE IS BACK! 

I couldn't contain myself, I was doing backflips! Katherine is a fascinating character because she is a volatile combination of some absolutely riveting motifs and concepts: 

1. A complete juxtaposition of her doppelganger Elena 

2. Completely bathed in history

3. A genetic marvel

4. Her self-preserving nature

And I mean the list goes on. But really.. she's just a bitch and we love her! She adds a lot of spice to the show and her nature makes her the perfect vehicle to accelerate plot lines. Although the circumstances surrounding her return this season are questionable, her current possession of the Cure unquestionably intertwines her with the show's present storyline, which is only a good thing! 

Katherine's extended disappearances really annoy me, but I guess that's what makes Katherine Katherine. She is a total 'frenemy' to the Mystic Falls clan, however, I think that the producers should ally Katherine with Elena, Stefan and Damon for the rest of this particular season, seeing the looming threat of Silas. And even though I know that Katherine received a lot of attention in Season 2, I would really like a bit more insight into her life and her character. This would be the perfect time to do so! 

Bonnie has become a psycho-bitch

I don't have much to say about this point apart from the fact that it happened. I never liked Bonnie, her character in and of itself is quite unbelievable. It has become a joke amongst my friends and I that whenever we're stressed out about exams or are nervous about a particular life situation, we just say "Oh, don't worry, Bonnie will find a book." 

And it's so true and annoying! How many bloody times has the show created impossible situations for itself only to have this teenage little girl from some little random ass town in the USA to find a book and with one little spell seems to make waste to the complication. 

"Nobody can undo the 300 year old entrapment curse on the church tomb filled with 30 rotting vampires." "Oh, don't worry, Bonnie found a book." 

"It's impossible to kill an Original vampire! They have been around for a thousand years and are simply immortal creatures!" "Oh, don't worry, Bonnie found a book." 

"No one can raise Silas, he's been dead for thousands upon thousands of years!" "Oh, don't worry, Bonnie found a book." 

Oh deary me, CW, you build me up, you bring me down! 

And now she's out to sacrifice 12 people to bring EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER DIED back to life... I'm fucking confused. WHAT?! 

They honestly really need to do something about this. It's killing my life. The producers have to either analyse the scales of their story-line complications and bring them down a notch OR get Bonnie an ancient leader witch friend to help her out, because Bonnie is not capable of doing all this shit! I'm sorry! 

Elena turns off her humanity

Now this was one of the more interesting twists for me. Damon's dialogue throughout the season has definitely foreshadowed it, so I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm 'surprised', but I never thought that it would have actually happened. Now, I like it because Elena can finally be something other than a buzz kill. THERE, I SAID IT! Elena is a boring-ass character. She is the girl next door who sleeps with two brothers and yet retains a very high standard of sexual morality. She's the character whom we all say we love to our friends, but in the privacy of our own homes, infront of our laptop screens, we want to slap her across the face multiple times! 

This instantly triggered two possible future occurrences in my mind: 

1. Elena now has to take the cure in order to be normal

OR (and more likely to happen) 

2. Bonnie finds a book (when she becomes normal again, that is, or whatever normal means in Bonnie land) 

In the last few minutes of the last episode, Elena seemed to resemble Katherine in more ways than one, which then begged the question: "Was Katherine once a nice lovely girl like Elena, but than after she turned off her humanity became the sexy bitch we now know and love today?" Because, technically, Elena and Katherine are genetically identical! Does that mean that their innate personalities are identical? This brings up the scientific "Nature Vs. Nurture" debate, and I love it. If the producers decide to extrapolate on this point right here, it'll give the shows procession a much more in depth path to take.

And this basically means that we'll have two Katherine's in the show! Ummm, I'm definitely not complaining!!

It'll just be a shame when Elena (unarguably) returns back to her former self. I haven't even experienced the new Elena and I already love her much more than the old Elena... and that's saying something!

The Caroline/ Klaus/ Tyler mess

I love Caroline.

I don't like Tyler.

I CAN'T STAND KLAUS!!!!!

I'm sorry, but if the show is heading where I think it's heading, and that is making Klaus and Caroline a couple, I'M NOT HAPPY!

Reasons I don't like Klaus:

* He's killed every character that I've ever loved on the show
* His accent is not sexy
* He dresses like a goon
* He smiles like a goon
* His mouth looks funny
* He's a natural blonde (...bastard...)
* It's 'C'laus, not 'K'laus. Who the fuck do you think you are? A Kardashian sister or some shit??? do you wanna change your last name from 'Mikaelson' to 'Kikaelson' next?

^^^ These are all very mature grounds upon which an adult is allowed not to like another person. Just sayin'.

I think Caroline should marry Matt, Tyler should get it on with Phoebe Tonkin's character (whatever her name in the show is) and Klaus should just be staked already. His storyline is over, he's boring as hell, kill him off and present a new character! I'm not mean at all :)

So that's my opinion on the show this season. I'll keep you up to date with my thoughts as they change and develop! Let me know your thoughts! I shall leave you with the trailer for the next episode:

and my love! Love y'all chicadees!!! MWA!!! 

did God heal you?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY DEAR IDAHOANS! 

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a very Happy New Year! I've had a fantaby hoobily groovily break, and I am glad to be blogging once more. I have missed venting to you chickadees and I am so thrilled and excited for twenty thirteen that I have decided that I shall be blogging once a week, every week for the foreseeable months ahead! OMG, you're going to have to deal with my shit on a weekly basis? You better start stocking up on them painkillers, cause I'm telling you from now, you're gonna bloody need them! 

Today I come to you with a very interesting topic, namely being Divine/ Miraculous healing. Oh jolly good, we are venturing down the winding road of rudeness and offensiveness! As I always do, I feel it extremely important to explicitly state that I do not mean to offend anyone on my blog channel, rather I wish to express my opinions and, hopefully, that will allow for you to shoot me a message or leave a comment expressing yours! That's what I love about this, we're able to debate and discuss and share our thoughts due to the fact that we are all so boring and have nothing better to do with our lives :) GOD BLESS THE INTERNET! 

Okay, now onto defining the issue at hand. When I talk about divine healing, I am referring to the act of humans reaching out to a supernatural being, namely some form of God, for assistance during sickness, injury or possible death. Now I'm not necessarily religious so I see this as simply silly, but I have no problem with people praying to their higher beings for help. What I do have a problem with is their reactions after the ordeal is done. So, let's get into the itty-gritty of it with the help of subtitles, and let's get the ball rolling! 

Mercy upon the dying

Now I'm not gonna lie to you, there are a lot of things that people frequently do that confuse the crap out of me, but at the very top of this list is the prayers made by individuals to save loved ones from a foreseeable death. Don't get me wrong, I understand WHY people do it, and I even find myself praying to a God I don't believe in when faced with such hard and unfortunate circumstances myself, however, what absolutely gnaws away at me are people's RESPONSES to the outcome. To put it simply (and I do not mean to sound rash): 

Scenario 1: If the person lives- "It was a miracle! God answered our prayers! God is great, if it wasn't for him, he/she would have surely died!" 

Scenario 2: If the person passes away- "It was meant to be. God obviously has a plan and it was simply this person's time to die. It isn't that God didn't answer our prayers, it's just that he knows best." 

This absolutely kills me (no pun intended). The way I think about it is if you are going to praise God for answering your prayers if the person lives, then technically you should be cursing him and proclaiming that he doesn't exist if the person dies! If you're going to rave about this God's supernatural power and strength and so on and so forth if the person survives a surgery then you should damn well strip him of all his power and glory if the operation goes downhill. This is a perfect example of SELECTIVE BELIEF. 

I think Religious people should always react as they would in scenario 2. Not surprisingly, these are the same people that blame doctors and surgeons if a person doesn't survive a heart transplant but seem to completely forget that these medical practitioners even exist if the surgery was a success, and automatically attribute the terrific outcome to God's work. It just isn't clicking in my head. 

People who get VIP Godly healing

This is something that I have been asking myself from a very young age, and that question is "Why do some people get healed and some people don't?" 

It's sort of like when people are asked to pray for another individuals recovery and health. Does this mean that God keeps a tally of how many prayers each sick person receives and, if there are enough chalk strokes on the wall, he will save them? What if a person doesn't have anyone praying for them? Or what if they are praying to the wrong God? Now a religious person would automatically respond with "You are being silly and obnoxious! That is not how it works! Prayers are just a way of communicating with God, God knows what he's doing and that's that!" But then my answer to that would be: "Why pray?" Cause if what you are saying holds water, wouldn't it then be degrading to your God if you pray to him? Because I know if I've already made a decision that I am 100% certain is correct, I would be very pissed if I had a group of people nagging me and trying to sway my decision. 

And that still leaves the question of why some people survive operations/ sicknesses/ whatever and others don't. This very much bothers me because when I hear someone attribute a person's wellbeing to God I think of another sick person in my life who is not doing so well and I reason "Well why the hell isn't my friend doing well? Did God just overlook him/her because he was to busy helping your relative?" 

This is the same line of thought I mandate when I question why I was fortunate enough to be born into a first-world country and other children are born into poverty-stricken countries where chances are they won't even live long enough to see their teen years. Where is the rational for this selectiveness? And don't give me that "God works in mysterious ways" bullshit, that is such a cop-out answer. 

An omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent God needs YOUR opinion!

I think what drives me up the wall the most here is the fact that people mostly believe (again, depending on their religion) that their God knows everything: past, present and future. So if your God knows the future, why the hell are you praying for or seeking a miracle? A miracle by its very definition is something that cannot be explained due to its sudden and unexpected occurrence  and this goes completely against the grain of God being all-knowing. 

If you believe that God knows the future, or your religion specifies a non-changeable fate, what makes you think your prayers are going to do anything? What gives you the right to praise your prayers if a person recovers from a sickness? 

It's sort of like when Christianity states that the majority of the human population is going to hell. God obviously knows this because he knows the future, so why create us in the first place? I'd much rather be non-existent than spend an ETERNITY in an unpleasant place called hell. Heck, I can't seem to stand a 2-hour church service, what makes you think I will enjoy an ETERNITY of suffering?! It's sort of like you giving a hundred kids whom you love a present each, and five out of the hundred boxes contain good things like candy and unicorns and butterflies, but the other ninety-five contain diseases and flesh-eating zombies and crying babies *puke*. And you know exactly what the boxes contain. Why give them the boxes in the first place? 

The claim that a God is all-knowing and the claim that a God is a miraculous healing-worker who listens to prayer are claims that are like oil and water; they simply don't mix. 

Hopefully I haven't elevated your blood pressure too much :) So remember, if my blasphemes opinions have offended you, please let me know by commenting or messaging! And if you agree, comment or message anyway! ... I just want to be friends... BE MY FRIEND!!!! 

Have a great week chickadees, and I shall talk to y'all in a weeks time! And, in the spirit of confused memes: 

BYEEEEEE!