My top ten models! (Myself not included obviously, because I'm modest)

Chickadees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I hope you are all doing well. I've really wanted to post a blog the last few days, but in all honesty, my brain has turned to mush, and university is to blame. No sooner do I finish writing an essay do I realise I have another one due in a few days. If I'm not going through that vicious cycle, I have some in-class test I need to study for or I realise I need to complete a tutorial paper my inconsiderate, unreliable and completely scatter-brained teacher decided to create two days ago and made due in three days time for no apparent reason. RANT OVER. 

So, seeing that I currently have the mental capacity of a turnip and the attention span of a rock, and I am in dire need of some form of constructive activity, I thought I would make a nice, fun and completely superficial blog about MODELS!!!

I am a procrastinator, as I am sure you all know by now, and one of my favourite activities to engage in whilst wasting my precious time is watching fashion shows! All sorts of fashion shows, may I add: Elie Saab, New York Fashion Week, Michael Kors, the VMAs (don't argue with me, that excuse for an awards ceremony, in its own retarded way, is a runway!) and my personal favourite, Victoria's Secret!!! I have grown fond of a few models over the past few months (by fond I mean jealous) and here they are, in all of their glory!!! Here, ladies and gentlemen (and everything in-between) are my top ten favourites:

10. Lily Aldridge

I love this chicka, she is such a babe. My first impression of this girl was really quite hilarious though. I watched her on the Angels in Bloom section of VS 2012 and I was thinking to myself "What the hell is up her ass?!" because, literally, she has the most retarded catwalk I have ever seen! It's like some kind of awkward limp, but I found it so funny. But I mean, to her defence, she did have a baby, like, a few months before that particular show, however, to my defence, she had the exact same walk on the runway in the previous three years before she popped the kid out so, meh. But, whatever, that walk kinda makes her unique, I guess :/. And her teeth are super-retarded, I love it! Overall, she's super sexy, you go girlfriend! 

9. Cara Delevingne

Shu those eyebrows!!!! This chick has the best facial hair, hands down! To be completely honest, the first time I came across a picture of Cara's face, I was quite scared and intimidated. I was not completely sure if it was a boy or a girl. She actually has the body of a 12 year old asian kid, no joke, but I love it. I don't see it too much as her being anorexic as opposed to her being herself. It's just her body type, and props to her for rocking what she has! I honestly never thought I would warm up to the idea of liking Miss Delevingne, but she really has grown on me. Not to mention she has an awesome personality! And omg at all the reports of her selling and taking drugs, oh god Cara!  

8. Barbara Fialho

Fialho is an exotic Goddess, I'll tell you that much. Every time I see her in a magazine or watch her strut her stuff on the runway I feel like shaking a maraca with one hand and eating a taco with the other (yes, this is my definition of exotic.) And my god she's tall. Google her, she makes every man she stands next to look like an absolute midget, my god, I would not want to be caught taking a picture with her! Let's be honest, her genetics deserve two pics on this blog. BOOM! 

7. Constance Jablonski

Constance!!!!!! Ahh, she's so beautiful, although whoever did her makeup for VS 2012 has to get their ass fired because she looked like a witch with those tar-drowned eyes and heavily-contoured cheekbones. But racoon makeup aside, Constance is a true beauty! Her French accent gets me every time, and for someone who looks really rich and stuck up, she comes across as very shy and down to earth. She is the face of Estee Lauder, and has done campaigns for the likes of D&G and Calvin Klein, so yea, she's done alright (not as good as me though, let's be honest) ;) Funniest thing about this chicka though is she actually wanted to become a professional tennis player before getting into modelling. Can you imagine her on the tennis field, defeating her opponents with her ravishingly good looks?! All she would need to do is wink at the referee and she would have the game in the bag! 

6. Maud Welzen

OMG MAUD!!! Like Maud from The Simpson's Maud! But come on, isn't she exactly how you envision Gretel from the fairytale to look like?!?! She is the epitome of cuteness. I love the fact that when I google her, I am met with more than an onslaught of bikini and lingerie photos. She has shot a number of sophisticated and classy fragrance campaigns, and her style lends itself very well to it! Go and watch the pink section of VS 2012, you're in for a pleasant surprise when she turns around whilst wearing the particular ensemble to the right ;) And she's Dutch. I mean, I am done. I am done. 

5. Isabeli Fontana

I have never actually heard Fontana's voice. I think that is a good place to start with this girl because she's the type that really doesn't need to say anything to get you interested. She is so mesmerising that she simply demands attention! She's been working as a model for ages and her work and experience speak volumes. And she's one of those no-shit-get-the-job-done kinda girls, without all the drama and chaos that seems to surround the other VS girls. She's a staple model, always present for every VS runway show since she started. She rocks two to three stunning looks a year and steals the spotlight without being as attention-seeking as Lima or as overly stuck-up as Swanepoel. Definitely one of my top picks! 

4. Erin Heatherton

OMG I love to hate this girl! She is so unbelievably sexy and so unbelievably posh, it's hilarious. You know how some people have like naturally unimpressed facial expressions? That's the story of Erin's life. I love how she is constantly giving interviewers the bitchiest looks and looks at fans at Victoria's Secret store openings as if they were mere peasants (which they actually are compared to her). I actually don't know who else this chicka models for. Although she obviously does model for other brands, I think she's mostly a Victoria's girl, I mean, she doesn't really have a high-fashion kind of look about her, she's really 'the-girl-next-door' kinda type. Stay bitchy Erin dear! ;)

3. Barbara Palvin

I feel like everyone loves this girl, she has such a universal appeal. She's so real and so gorgeous, and she gives AMAZING face! Her story outlining how she became a model is hilarious: "I was, uhhh, just, uhhhh, walking down the uhhh street and this man told me uhhhh 'do you want-ah to become-ah a model-ah' and I said YES! Of course!" Cause that's not creepy or anything, is it Barbara? :/ I guess the moral of the story is: if an old man on the street asks you to be his model, say YES! Too easy :)
DISCLAIMER: don't do it. Please, just don't.

2. Cameron Russell

Ever since my obsession with Lana Del Rey began, I have fallen in love with all things American vintage and from the 1950s. I feel like Cameron has literally been snatched out of this era! And I only very recently figured out why: she looks like a cross between Rita Hayworth and Judy Garland! She really has that old hollywood glamour look to her. Also, she actually stirred up a bit of a controversy at the beginning of the year. She appeared on TedX and basically gave a speech about how modelling is not a career and is not a job to be proud of. As much as I admired her saying this (because I totally agree, being a model simply means you've won the genetic lottery, there's really nothing else to it) she's kinda shooting herself in the foot a bit. I believe she's just doing it for the publicity, but the entire way through her speech the words of my senior English teacher back in high school (when she was warning my class not to get too crazy with pranks we were planning to pull on our teachers on our last day of school) continuously echoed in my head "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." I'm interested to see the implications this little speech Cameron made is going to have on her career (by this I mean I'm waiting to see if she's still going to appear on VS this year, LOL) but I mean I admire her courage and her honesty, and she's a sexy biatch, so, whatevvvvvvvs.

1. Doutzen Kroes

AND I MEAN OF COURSE DOUTZEN IS NUMERAL UNO!!!!

NUF SAID.

Alrighty chickadees, I think that's enough for one day. I don't know about you guys, but I feel like a fat potato... with sour cream on top.

Take care of yourselves, stop procrastinating and do whatever it is you need to be doing, don't take candy from strangers (unless it's a sexy stranger... LOL JKS please don't. You will die) and enjoy the rest of your week!

Au revoir!